Embracing Change Through Growth and Gratitude

“For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.” - Cynthia Occelli

There is much be grateful for after we make it out of the storm and find ourselves sitting on the other side of it! Often I hear people express how challenging it can be to recognize the positive outcomes from those stormy experiences. Yet, there is always something we have gained from those experiences if we change our mindset. The storms of life change us. It is inevitable. We sometimes resist embracing that change, enduring a few growing pains in the process, until we fully embrace the growth it can bring.

Without change there would be no growth. Without completely "cracking open or coming undone" growth isn't possible. So how do we begin to connect with the "what we gained" in order to lean into growth and embrace change? This is the topic we will explore in this month's blog. Allowing it to move us off the difficult road and to begin to see the beautiful destination that lies ahead of us!

“Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.” - John Maxwell

The Calm After the Storm - Rest, Recharge & Reflect

April's GNR Blog, April Showers...Finding Gratitude in the Storms of Life, we examined ways in which we can navigate life storms and become more intentional with our practices to help us when in the midst of these powerful storms. We discussed the importance understanding the power of our mindset, during these storms, being a key element in rising with resilience. Focusing on our strengths to pause and control our response, rather than succumbing to fear, anxiety and reactivity. It is also important to consider our mindset after these storms. Honoring and allowing a time to rest, recharge and reflect on the growth that resulted from the passing storm. This is where acceptance begins to bloom as we rise even stronger than we were before.

Rest & Recharge

Taking time to rest and recharge are critical in allowing our body and brain the time it needs to restore itself.

Getting adequate rest is essential to our mental well-being and even more important after we have ensured a stressful time in our lives. It is recommended that adults between the ages of 18-60 get a minimum of 7 hours of sleep per night. Many things can impact our sleep. It is important to understand the different stages of sleep; both REM (rapid eye movement) and non-REM and the role they play in our overall well-being. During the aptly named, REM sleep, your brain activity, breathing, heart rate and blood pressure increase, and the eyes move rapidly while closed. It plays an important role in dreaming, memory, brain development and emotional processing. This is why 7 hours of sleep is the average recommendation for adults; allowing your body to hit all stages of sleep to gain the maximum benefits. REM sleep makes up 20% of our sleep, so if you sleep 7-8 hours per night, you spend 90 minutes in REM sleep. The other four non-REM stages making up the other 80% of sleep consists of 1. Light sleep (not refreshing), 2. Middle-intensity sleep (refreshing), 3. and 4. Slow-wave sleep (refreshing).

It is also important to note that there are many factors that can impact our sleep, such as what we are eating and/or drinking close to bedtime. It is vital to be aware of our caffeine and sugary food consumption, which can both have varying effects on the quality of our sleep. Also, being mindful of what we consume throughout the day and closer to rest time can allow us to rest and recharge more easily.

How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then to rest afterward. -Spanish Proverb

Rest and recharging can also look like simply slowing down; quieting the mind, finding stillness, and taking time for ourselves while embracing being in the present moment and practicing mindfulness. In March's GNR Blog, we discussed the Miracle of Mindfulness and various ways which you can start practicing mindfulness. Adopting the mindfulness practice of connecting back to yourself in the moment is a great way to recharge. Connecting with your five senses, lighting a candle, taking a bath or shower, walking in nature, spending time with your pet, journaling, listening to music, making some tea, or reading a book are all great ways of connecting back with yourself.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” - Anais Nin

Reflect

Taking time to rest, recharge and reflect are three key components to helping us to accept and embrace change and growth. While we may believe giving ourselves the time we need to rest, recharge and reflect may be easy, there can be times we actually avoid the stillness and rest as we have been used to living in the chaos of the storm. The silence and rest can almost feel unnerving and uncomfortable to us. In the stillness, we may think more and feel more intensely about the storm we just navigated. We may even find ourselves reconnecting and reliving some of those emotions and experiences, which we want to avoid. Our bodies are wired to protect us from discomfort, and therefore it can feel challenging to stay in these emotions in order to process them. When these moments occur, I like to consider the difference between dwelling and reflecting. In DBT therapy, the belief is we have three states of mind; our Emotion Mind, Reasonable Mind and Wise Mind. When we are dwelling, we are living in the Emotion Mind and when we reflect, we are in our Wise Mind. The Wise Mind is part emotion and part reason (logic) all while staying in the present. When dwelling on something, we are living in it, replaying it as if we are in the exact moment again. Almost as if your playing the lead role in a movie. We are living in our Emotional Mind, where our thoughts are driven by emotion and therefore impacting our behaviors. When we are reflecting on the storm that just passed, it is as if we are viewing a photograph of that moment, not reliving each detail, and connecting with our emotions of that experience but rather being in the present while reflecting. When we dwell, we tend to stay in that emotional state longer. When we reflect, we simply visit briefly, while still being in the present moment.

“Whatever makes you uncomfortable is your biggest opportunity for growth.” - Bryant McGill

So, after the storm has passed, when we are in the stage of rest, recharge and reflect, it is important to ensure we are not dwelling in the past but reflecting in the present with our Wise Mind. Being able to reflect mindfully, we are more able to connect with change and growth that has occurred as a result of the storm. So, my advice is; it is important to reflect on the storm in order to process what happened, but I suggest you visit (reflect) and not move in (dwell).

Growth and Gratitude Practices

A growth mindset and grateful mindset are choices; they are conscious decisions we make to move through to the other side. As we continue to embrace change and growth, lets identify a few ways we can begin to connect intentionally through growth and gratitude practices.

The ability to relax and be mindfully present in the moment comes naturally when we are grateful. -Louise Hay

Journaling- this is always a go to I recommend. Keep in mind, there is no right way to journal, just write! As this month's topic suggests, let this month's journal exercise be focused on growth. Maybe write about the gifts this most recent storm has brought you. Identify why and how you are grateful to be on the other side of it. Identify those in your support system who were there for you during this challenging time and maybe send them a thank you note, text or email. Connection is an antidote for our healing.

Growth & Gratitude Jar- for the next 30 days, I invite you to write on a piece of paper each day one way in which you are embracing change and growth with gratitude that day. After 30 days is complete, sit down with a cup of tea or coffee and take the time to read each one, honoring yourself for identifying the growth, change and gratitude.

Growth & Gratitude Stone- Maybe you already have a grounding stone you may wish to use or maybe go on a walk to collect a small stone that catches your eye. Hold onto this stone, maybe place in your pocket, purse, backpack or set in on your desk at work. Let this stone serve as a reminder of how your embracing change after this hard season through growth and gratitude. Whenever you see or touch the stone, take a moment to pause and reflect on at least one thing your grateful for or why your grateful today for growth and change.

There is so much to be proud of now that you made it through the storm! Now find a way to embrace growth and change with a little gratitude to help you along the way!

Often, we are unsure of just how much we can endure. Today my friend, you're on the other side of the storm, your roots are planted sturdy and strong in the ground, ready to face anything coming your way. But for now, focus on embracing the growth and change that resulted. You are as strong as an Oak tree, and stronger than you ever knew! May we be grateful for being on the other side of life's storms and embracing this season with growth and gratitude.

The Oak Tree

Poet: Johnny Ray Ryder Jr.

A mighty wind blew night and day

It stole the oak tree's leaves away

Then snapped its boughs and pulled its bark

Until the oak was tired and stark

But still the oak tree held its ground

While other trees fell all around

The weary wind gave up and spoke,

"How can you still be standing Oak?"

The oak tree said, "I know that you

Can break each branch of mine in two

Carry every leaf away

Shake my limbs, and make me sway.

But I have roots stretched in the earth

Growing stronger since my birth

You'll never touch them, for you see

They are the deepest part of me.

Until today, I wasn't sure

Of just how much I could endure

But now I've found, with thanks to you

I'm stronger than I ever knew."

How has Gratitude helped you to identify the areas of growth in your life? How have you been leaning into Gratitude and recognizing its ability to help you embrace life's changes? Share below in the comments how you'll start or what you have been doing to connect to the small moments each day.

This week we will announce the winner of the GNR Growth & Gratitude giveaway. Please remember if you subscribe to this blog, share it with a friend, like it on LinkedIn, follow Grateful Never Relapses on Instagram and/or Facebook, you will be entered into drawing for May's GNR giveaway. The more you share and like, the greater your chances of winning. (You will be contacted via messenger or email to tell us where to send it.)

Keep sharing the love, grateful beings!

May 2023 GNR Growth & Gratitude giveaway

About Grateful Never Relapses

Welcome to a community where the belief and mindset is one in which recovery is possible for everyone! We believe that through gratitude, mindfulness, and awareness of all that is around us and within us, recovery is possible. When you shift your awareness to come from a place of gratitude, even in the most challenging or darkest of times, Grateful NEVER Relapses! The hope for this forum is to offer a brave and safe space to embrace your recovery journey with gratitude. We plan to share useful resources and tools to help you embody gratitude into your daily life. While we understand that everyone's journey is unique to them, we hope you are able to share in the power of gratitude in your own healing journey and realize the doors it may open and the walls it may take down, while recognizing and embracing the power of gratitude within!

By: Laura Anne Pasker, LCPC, LMHC, CCTP, Owner & Clinician at Clarity Counseling Solutions, LLC and Grateful Never Relapses