Grit & Gratitude

"Your dreams are on the other side of your grit." - Unknown

We are faced with obstacles and challenges each day. It is our ability to persist through these obstacles, when we feel connected and passionate about something, that allows us to persevere and push our way through them. Grit...is not just a mindset or state of being; it's a passion, a kind of perseverance that allows us to face those obstacles head on. In my mind, grit is not the absence of fear, but the awareness of its presence. It is using fear as fuel, not making it the focus of our awareness, but rather just knowing it is there, helping us to push through. It is not allowing fear to rule the present and not allowing it to steer the ship. Grit is... Face Everything And Rise (F.E.A.R.) and not Forget Everything And Run (F.E.A.R.). These are two definitions I often share with clients when faced with fear and uncertainty. It is also something I remind myself of when fear surfaces for me. Which definition am I operating from? How can I move from the run to the rise? By embracing fear with purpose, with perseverance, with passion...with GRIT.

The Cambridge Dictionary defines grit as courage and determination despite difficulty. Webster's Dictionary describes grit as firmness of mind or spirit: unyielding courage in the face of hardship or danger. So, in essence, embracing grit can be challenging, but finding our grit is what allows us to face those hard moments and just keep swimming as Dory would say!

"Grit has two components: passion and perseverance." - Angela Duckworth

Angela Duckworth, psychologist, professor, researcher, and author has focused her research by asking the questions; who is successful and why they are successful? She discovered that intelligence is not an accurate predictor of success but rather grit and self-control are the two traits that can predict academic achievement and professional success.

In another study, she also learned that, on average, individuals who have more "grit" are more self-controlled, but also states that the correlation between these two traits is not perfect. She has developed a tool to explore ones "level of grittiness" in a 12 Item Grit Scale. The scale is quick to take and easy to score. One way to start embracing your grit could be exploring what your grit score is on the scale! Give it a try!

No matter what we are trying to succeed in, education, furthering our career, athletic tryouts, writing, working out, or even starting a new business, it is our passion and perseverance that allow for success in accomplishing these goals. Grit is, by definition, those two components; passion and perseverance. Her book, Girt, is a great resource to dive into these insights, research and experiences, and allow you to explore how your grit can grow into your success. After all, if intelligence alone doesn't predict success, our grit can grow if we strength our perseverance and passion.

"Every great story happened when someone decided to not give up." - Spryte Loriano

Grit is when we decide to keep going and not give up. Grit is a force, a powerful recourse that can guide us to success, when we allow ourselves to embrace its power. The American Psychological Association defines grit as a personality trait characterized by perseverance and passion for achieving long-term goals. In order for grit to be present we must have passion, not only perseverance. Something has to be driving our will to keep going despite the struggle or setback we are currently facing. Passion is what drives our ability to maintain a steadfast focus of determination to continue on the journey. It also must be meaningful to us. We must have passion along with perseverance to embrace our true GRIT.

"Humans are creatures of habit. If you quit when things get tough, it gets that much easier to quit the next time. On the other hand, if you force yourself to push through it, the grit begins to grow in you." - Travis Bradberry

So, I ask you to consider the following. What has your relationship looked like in the past with embracing grit and gratitude? What does your relationship with grit and gratitude look like today? If we are more often then not denying grit, we are also resisting growth and the growth mindset. Through the expression of gratitude when facing a challenge, and the perseverance and passion to achieve our goal (grit), we can move through any obstacle. Just take a moment to check in with your answers above and consider ways you may hope to adapt or grow your relationship with gratitude and grit.

"Grit is the persistence in following your own destiny." - Paul Bradley Smith

Grit and Gratitude help us in connecting with the growth mindset. Without the ability to grow and learn, we may feel stuck. By practicing both of grit and gratitude, we open the door for improving our wellness and enrich our growth.

In GNR's January Blog, What is Gratitude Anyway? , we explored some research indicating engaging in a gratitude practice can help us to cope with stress, having positive effects on our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wellness. Even noticing what is going on in our lives that is going well has significant health benefits. It has a tremendous impact not only on our emotional state but also on our physical body. Gratitude can help us to increase hope, improve our sleep and most importantly help us to practice mindfulness and allow us to stay in the present moment. So, we now know the positive effects of embracing gratitude even in small doses, so how does grit fit it?

Grit is the perseverance to keep going. Grit is what helps us to get through those hard days and difficult moments. Grit is leaning into the things that support us and help us to not stop but rather keep going. So often in recovery spaces we hear the adages "one day at a time" or "this too shall pass." Whatever your spiritual beliefs may be, the Serenity Prayer is something that reminds me of this idea of GRIT. Those sayings are what helps us to not feel so alone, to feel connected with others and help guide us to keep going...to persevere along our path.

At the heart of it, gratitude helps us to truly be in the present and also helps us lessen the "unbecoming" definition of fear (Forget Everything And Run) and Grit allows us to RISE. In my mind, Gratitude and Grit go hand and hand as they fuel us forward down our path. Not only do they help guide us towards our goal, but they serve as a reminder of our need to stay in the present moment as we face the obstacles along our journey.

Here are a few ways in which you can begin to embrace grit and gratitude:

1. Identify 1-2 statements or mantras you can utilize when in the moment of facing that fear and obstacle. Some examples may be: There is a benefit and an opportunity in every experience I have. My strength is greater than any struggle. Which definition of fear am I in; Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise?

2. Know your grit - get started by taking the 12 Item Grit Scale. To quote Aristotle, knowing yourself in the beginning of all wisdom.

3. Practice the pause. By simply pausing in the moment, identifying something you are grateful for and something that is helping you to persevere, you're engaging in both a gratitude and grit practice. Find some gratitude meditations on Spotify or Insight Times that speak to you and incorporate those into your daily routine. I often play Focus music when I am working on projects that require my presence.

4. Express both gratitude and grit through journaling or art and sharing with a friend.

5. The Serenity Prayer can be a great tool to help practice gratitude and grit. This prayer was written as an adaptation by a religious scholar in1932 from the original by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971). Below you will find the words to this prayer. You do not have to subscribe to any spiritual beliefs or practices to place some meaning behind the words. Come to the present moment in peace, identify what you cannot change right now, then identify what you can change. There is true wisdom and GRIT in being able to differentiate between these two things, this is where our power and perseverance lie.

God (Higher Power or leave this word out), grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

The courage to change the things I can;

and the wisdom to know the difference.

There is no right or wrong way to embrace grit and gratitude, again it is just about beginning the practice and leaning into the belief that you will get through this, no matter how long it takes.

"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop." Confucis

How has Gratitude helped you power through the obstacles you've faced recently? What is one way you're using Grit & Gratitude today to persevere? Share below in the comments, we would love to hear from you!

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Keep sharing the love, grateful beings!

About Grateful Never Relapses

Welcome to a community where the belief and mindset is one in which recovery is possible for everyone! We believe that through gratitude, mindfulness, and awareness of all that is around us and within us, recovery is possible. When you shift your awareness to come from a place of gratitude, even in the most challenging or darkest of times, Grateful NEVER Relapses! The hope for this forum is to offer a brave and safe space to embrace your recovery journey with gratitude. We plan to share useful resources and tools to help you embody gratitude into your daily life. While we understand that everyone's journey is unique to them, we hope you are able to share in the power of gratitude in your own healing journey and realize the doors it may open and the walls it may take down, while recognizing and embracing the power of gratitude within!

By: Laura Anne Pasker, LCPC, LMHC, CCTP, Owner & Clinician at Clarity Counseling Solutions, LLC and Grateful Never Relapses